The geographical pilgrimage is the symbolic
acting out of an inner journey.
-Thomas Merton
Every
serious outward journey begins with an inward exploration, often involving a
spiritual and/or emotional leap of faith.
Thus the
opening words of this week’s Torah portion, Lech
L’chah, take Abraham—and us—both outward, into the world, and inward, into
our selves. God commands Abraham to
leave his home and family, to set out for the unknown land of Canaan. But as the Ishbitzer Rebbe notes, the divine command
“Go forth” can also mean, quite literally, “Go to yourself.” God is asking Abraham to make both a physical
and a spiritual pilgrimage, to look deeply into his own soul and become his
best and most authentic self. It is not
enough for the patriarch to leave behind the familiar comfort and confines of
home—he must also shed the masks, fears, and defenses that get in the way of
realizing his true calling.
For most of
us, children of Abraham, this inward journey is terrifying. It takes enormous trust and faith and courage
to look into our own souls, because we know that when we do, we will find a
great many things that we would prefer to avoid. It is much easier—and very tempting—to just
keep distracting ourselves with trivialities.
Father Henri
Nouwen writes of this challenge in an extraordinary essay on spirituality and
solitude. I think his words offer a
beautiful commentary on the Ishbitzer’s teaching:
As soon as we are alone, without people to
talk with, books to read, TV to watch, or phone calls to make, an inner chaos
opens up in us. This chaos can be so
disturbing and so confusing that we can hardly wait to get busy again. . . At
first, silence might only frighten us.
In silence we start hearing the voices of darkness: our jealousy and
anger, our resentment and desire for revenge, our lust and greed, and our pain
over losses, abuses, and rejections.
These voices are often noisy and boisterous. They may even deafen us. Our most spontaneous reaction is to run away
from them and return to our entertainment.
But if we have the discipline to stay put and
not let these dark voices intimidate us, they will gradually lose their
strength and recede into the background, creating space for the softer, gentler
voices of the light.
These voices speak of peace, kindness,
gentleness, goodness, joy, hope, forgiveness, and most of all, love. They night at first seem small and
insignificant, and we may have a hard time trusting them. However, they are very persistent and they
will grow stronger if we keep listening. They come from a very deep place and
from very far. They have been speaking
to us since before we were born, and they reveal to us that there is no
darkness in the One who sent us into the world, only light.
This week,
as we re-encounter God’s call to Abraham—and to us—ask yourself: how do I stay
the course and get beyond the dark voices of fear, and so begin to hear and
heed the voices of hope, forgiveness, and love?