As their favorite season drew closer this year
The Jews down in Jew-ville lacked Chanukah cheer
They all loved this holiday, boychiks and maidels
They longed to light candles, eat latkes, spin dreidels
To gather their families, from lands far and wide
To sing “Rock of Ages” and eat stuff that’s fried
But this year the season brought trouble and grief
The Jew-ville Jews struggled to find some relief
Alone and uncertain, forlorn and unsure
Wandering lost through the thick fog of war
Hostages suffering who knows what fate?
Rising intolerance, anger and hate
Alliances collapsed and old friendships frayed
Again and again, the Jews felt betrayed
Anxious, abandoned and bleeding at heart
Facing such tzures, where should we start?
Alas, where extremists on both sides agreed
Was in blaming our people, in word and in deed
Yes, folks with the most divergent of views
Had one thing in common: contempt for the Jews
On campuses, hubris and ethical error
Led so-called progressives to champion terror
With prominent activist scholars and writers
Saluting Hamas as brave freedom fighters
They scorned Jews as colonists—heaven forbid
We should dwell in the land where our ancestors lived
On the right Tucker Carlson and Elon Musk
Talked smack about Jews from dawn until dusk
They and their cronies defame and debase us
Supporting the folks who say Jews won’t replace us.
Some cheered on Bibi but that was a ruse—
For to love right-wing Israel is not to love Jews
With so many villains putting us down,
The Jew-ville Jews feared for the fate of their town
Yes, all of the shtetl was filled with dismay
Would a hero arise who could still save the day?
Every Jew down in Jew-ville, each boychick and maidel
Held hope Lucy Latke and Dana the Dreidel
And brave Gershon Geltbag might relieve the tension
But as it turned out, they had all gone on pension.
All hope seemed to fade as the day it grew dimmer
But off in the distance, the Jews saw a glimmer
It moved toward the people, quite quickly it sped
Yet the light did not shine on Menorah-head’s head
(Menorahhead and boxing rabbi)
Yes, although their old hero had clearly returned
His bald head was dark where the candles once burned
And boxing Reb Moishe, his side kick of years
Looked ragged and weary, his face lined with tears
The people cried, “Save us!”—their hero said, “No—
We must all work together if we want to grow
There’s no Caped Crusader and no super power
To come to the rescue in this urgent hour
Help won’t descend like a gift from the skies—
If you seek peace and justice, then friends, now arise!
I’ll be cheering you on every step of the way
Your time—it is now, the work starts today!
It’s true the world’s broken, and feeling quite dark
But if you want light, you must gather up sparks
And kindle new flames, for in this trying time
You’re the ones who must make hope and history rhyme
Know that to love your own tribe is no sin;
In fact this is where human love must begin
Hillel was right—he spoke truthfully
If I’m not for myself, who will be for me?
Does life have you down with the Chanukah blues?
Then embrace who you are and stand tall with the Jews
With your feet on the ground and your head in the sky
Give thanks for our people, Am Yisrael Chai!
But the quote’s other half you must also apply:
If I’m only for myself, then what am I?
If we don’t also grieve Palestinian dead
Then we’ve hardened our hearts and our souls and our heads.
The grim path of Bibi, Smotrich and Ben Gvir
Leaves no hope for peace—only cruelty and fear
Such a harsh moral vision, so stingy and narrow
Is unworthy of Jews—it’s the failed path of Pharaoh
Though at times we must fight, pray for bloodshed to cease
When living with war, don’t stop working for peace
And though the Jew-hatred has left a big scar,
Times like these show us who are true friends really are
Even though we’re all hurting, in life’s stormy weather
There’s solace in knowing we face it together
The darkness will pass, the light will return
The bright flames of freedom will once again burn
Then gathering strength, without hesitation
Menorah-head implored his whole congregation:
For the past thirty years we’ve fought tyrants galore
For each we’ve defeated, arose several more
The prophet spoke truth though it’s hard now to hear it:
Not by might, not by power, but only by spirit
In the end superheroes will not save this nation—
Together you must make your own celebration
In tough times like these, in the dark of the night
If we’re to prevail, you must all kindle light
Friends, you each have your own righteous light you must sow—
So let your light shine and the darkness will go!
Then each Jewville Jew looked into their soul
And the flame of community glowed like a coal
With courage and faith, they banished despair
And it’s said that a great miracle happened there—
Hope was rekindled, hatred was gone
As Jewville burst into a Chanukah song—
And the neighboring nations—they all sang along!
They sang about peace, of Salaam and Shalom
Of hope and of healing upon their shared home.
And Mr. Menorahead, now shining bright
Said “Gut Yuntiff to all and to all a good night.”
