Yitro (Help!)

Moses sat as judge among the people, and the people stood, waiting around Moses from morning until evening.  When Moses’ father-in-law Yitro saw how much Moses had to do for the people, he said, “What is this thing that you are doing to the people?  Why do you act alone, while all the people stand around you from morning until evening?   The thing that you are doing is not right; you will surely wear yourself out, and these people as well.  The task is too heavy for you; you cannot do this alone. . .”

Moses heeded his father-in-law and did just as he said.  Moses chose capable men out of all Israel and appointed them heads over the people—chiefs of thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens—and they judged the people at all times.  The difficult matters they would bring to Moses, and all the minor matters they would decide themselves.” 

(Exodus 18:13-14; 17-18; 24-26)

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down

And I do appreciate your being ‘round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won’t you please help me?

                        (John Lennon/Paul McCartney)

It is hard to ask for help. 

To do so is to make ourselves vulnerable, to admit that we don’t have all the answers, to acknowledge that we are, in many ways, dependent upon others.  In our age, which idolizes self-sufficiency, this truth is profoundly counter-cultural, but even in early times, it was deeply uncomfortable.  Witness Moses, who cannot bring himself to ask for help in bearing the burden of leading the Israelites until he is urged to do so by his father-in-law, Yitro.

Yet as difficult as it is to ask for help, it is also essential—and not just for the one making the request.  It is important to note that Yitro’s concern is for both Moses and the rest of the Israelites.  He asks, “What is this that you are doing to the people?”  As the thirteenth century commentator Chizkuni interprets this passage, “Moses and the Israelites were making one another impatient.  On the one hand, the common people were forced to stand in line most of the day waiting for their turn.  On the other hand, Moses was becoming more and more weary having to deal with so many disputes.”  In other words, each side burdens the other.  Nobody wins.

The inability to delegate authority betrays a lack of faith in the community that we—like Moses—must learn to overcome if we wish to become good leaders.  Asking for help empowers all concerned.  In his article “Leading from Within,” Parker Palmer coins the phrase “functional atheism.”  He explains: This is the belief that ultimate responsibility for everything rests with me.  It is a belief held even among people whose theology affirms a higher power than the human self, people who do not understand themselves as atheists but whose behavior belies their belief.  Functional atheism is an unconscious belief that leads to workaholic behavior, to burn-out, to stressed and broken relationships, to unhealthy priorities.

It is, therefore, no accident, that in addition to reminding Moses to share power, Yitro also brings along Moses’ wife, Tzipora—who Moses seems to have neglected to bring out of Egypt.  The cost of taking everything upon oneself is, indeed, high.  Just ask Moses’ family.

John Lennon recognizes this truth in the classic Beatles song, “Help.”  He opens with the straightforward recognition that he can’t go forward on his own: Help!  I need somebody.

Of course he isn’t alone—but this not a sentiment we expect to hear from a man who was, at the time, one of the most famous people in the world, with the riches to buy whatever his heart desired. 

He continues by noting that the ability to ask for help is a sign of maturity.  Much of wisdom lies in acknowledging our limitations as we grow older:

When I was younger—so much younger than today

I never needed anybody’s help in any way

But now those days are gone and I’m not so self-assured

Now I find I’ve changed my mind and opened up the door

And then the chorus, with its courageously naked plea for help, voices soaring over George and John’s guitars:

Help me if you can, I’m feeling down

And I do appreciate your being ‘round

Help me get my feet back on the ground

Won’t you please help me?

We all need help.  We all need to help.  This is the nature of Jewish life.   For here is a profound truth at the heart of our tradition: if we seek to fulfill the essential mitzvot that God has given us to sustain sacred community, we must not deny others the opportunity to perform those same mitzvot for us. We cannot visit the sick or welcome guests or rejoice with wedding couples or console mourners unless we are willing to let others visit us when we are sick, let them welcome us when we are estranged, rejoice with us in our times of celebration, and console us in our seasons of loss.  To be a Jew is to affirm that we need one another to live Jewish lives. 

It’s good to know that even Moses sometimes needed a reminder to this effect.

To see and hear the Beatles performing "Help!" live in concert, see: